The news can be an endless source of entertainment. The best thing about them is often in the headlines. Most times I could care less about the real story. The best part is just the title. What I like are the big stories of the day. To be honest, I do not care if Mel Gibson and danced naked on top of a police car while having sex with the skull of Moses or whatever they say he did. Of course, I'm not Jewish. However, had insulted the protesters who do not think I care either. If the words of Mel can shake my faith and insulted me a lot then, obviously, it's time to reconsider my own beliefs.No, I liked the story I saw yesterday about how India is using some kind of driver to chase primates monkeys outside the trains. Apparently, the monkeys have been getting on trains and grimacing and frowning unpleasant to passengers that causes many problems. Therefore, there is another kind of primate with a name I can not remember which scares monkeys. Therefore, having a driver of one of these creatures to patrol trains. I love a good story of the monkey. As I told a friend yesterday, any story that contains either a monkey or a Monkee is intended to be fun. My favorite part was the final appointment by the manager of primates. "There are many monkeys", which is quoted as saying. I think that pretty much says it all, right? How do we focus on Hezbollah when too many monkeys? Is it bad that there are too many monkeys? They throw their faeces, but then again so some frat boys and NASCAR fans, so it's hard to say that everything should be excluded from the party. My other favorite headline yesterday was "PANTIES man wearing on his head FUDGE ROBA." Man, I do not even bother to read the rest of that. Whatever the story is that it could not match the pleasure of reading that headline. This morning I saw a title that runs in the same direction. Dice 'NAKED MAN leads police to pot FARM. "You can always have a title and the story about a guy who ended up naked and talking to the police to put a smile on my face. I wonder what happens to these guys. What to take you to hit out of his skull that you suddenly feel the need to undress and walk around the neighborhood? I took a lot of journalism classes when I was in college. One of the most feared was the editor of a newspaper class. It requires a class and the teacher was a real hard-ass. He still worked for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch and took things too seriously. We had to look in the newspapers every morning and try to find mistakes and things that obviously slipped through the fingers of some publishers. We learned how to build a story and create a title. The problem is that sometimes the editors try to get too clever with headlines and ends up looking weird. The timing is more present is when a semicolon is used. I've never understood the proper use of a semicolon. WE take out the trash; MAYOR or something like that is what we see in the paper. Of course, the mayor of the waste is removed or is the mayor who leads some new initiative to clean the streets or get ride of real trash or crime or whatever. I've been a fan of the regular column called "News of the Weird." It was a great thing to read when you were doing a radio program part time. I loved reading these stories. My favorites were the dumb criminal stories. You know the story when the criminals rob a bank and then get your check back with your address printed on the checks? I loved that. Or the criminal who robs a store with a mask and then step right outside the establishment, in view of the people who just stole, and removed the mask. I wonder what makes people think they can get away with crimes nowadays. For the love of God to dig up people who have died over a hundred years or more and do tests on their bones to determine how they died. Not so long ago that looked at King Tut remains to be seen if he was killed. So, really, although it is believed to have escaped with a crime, it is very likely not. Great Britain just solve the murder of a twelve year old who died something like twenty years ago. Therefore, if the news is getting you down and is sick of death, as I am of why Tom Cruise was hiding his daughter (oh, I dunno, because they want to protect the baby from being besieged by the press?!) or what Mel Gibson did or how World War III is progressing, just look ridiculous headlines. As I mentioned, not even need to read the stories of all. Just read the headlines. It's like reading a punchline or something. The real world is too depressing anyway. You already know that without having to look at any news.
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